Post Partum Depression

In all honesty sister, I believe Muslim women of all ages, educational levels, and economic backgrounds fall into this trap, although, it's easier for those who are young, nieve, and don't use common sense. Also, according to what I have studied, not all hadiths in Imam Buhkari's manual are "sahih"- and recently some scholar wrote a book about commonly used hadiths that were fabricated! When it comes to hadith, I'm very, very, very cautious. I only take the hadith that deal directly with prayer, fasting, zakkat, hajj, aqidah, death and funnerals. Just the basics. I also know that people use hadiths to justify their behaviour. Some use hadiths to justify homosexuallity, others use it to justify domestic violence, and others use it to justify jihad.

You know sister... I believe that men's rights are talked about soo much, that they really don't know, and worse yet, don't care about the rights of women and CHILDREN. Women do this because they have been led to believe that marriage is about pleasing the man, and all members of the family become subordinate to that goal, despite their own needs.

I personally have given up the idea of sisterhood. I just try building a community of like minded families around my family, and just move forward. Some times I wonder if the Muslim communities here in the West will ever make it! I notice that classism even more than racism is a major issue for many people. Muslim organizations create standards and cultures that are so exclusive many beneficial people can't join these groups. I have never met a group of people in all my life that are so concerned with what you do or dont have; I have never met a group of people who talk to middle class and working class persons as if they are social workers interrogating their worth and value. Big problem. Also, many sisters only want to associate with some one from their ethnic group or nation. There excuse always is "language" - mind you, they have been here 20 years plus, or have a degree in English studies!!! The truth is, they don't like people outside their ethnicity. Also, comming from a Catholic background, I'm used to walking in a faith enviournment where people treat each other with common courtsey, and are sensitive to differences. I'm still after seven years, trying to adjust to the many ill mannered, sanctimonious, self- righteous, nosey, and disrespectful Muslimas. I have never experienced what I have in my former faith experience. These Muslims make the KKK look like the good guys, that's how bad my experiences have been. So I have given up and just focus on the multicultural, multigenerational, and class diversity of the individuals I choose to be around.

Sister... I have nothing nice to say about those organizations. So I better keep my mouth shut!

Very true sister. I think comparsions can be healthy, but if it interferes with your ability to move forward and progress, that's a big problem. I also believe this is a defensive mechanism to protect against Islamaphobia, institutional Islamiaphobia, and self deprecaiting thinking. Problem is, we look like fools!

I believe that if a woman willingly chooses to be devoted to just her husband and family, that should be respected. If a woman has not been properly educated, is being restricted, and has not been exposed to other options, she is making a premature decision.

This is one of the biggest reasons why man Muslima's are unable to create and maintain healthy friendships with other Muslimas to even get to a point to build a sisterhood. Their husband have created a situation where they can't have any relationship other than with them.

It's such a shame that many men both Muslim and non-Muslim don't get that the better educated the mother is, the better she will be able to parent. The more experienced, interdepedent, and self actualized a mother is the more confidence and skill she will apply to her children. The status of the mother is directly related to the status of the child, and one day, when men get that, perhaps, they can stop creating parent child relationships with another adult, and move on up to a higher level of interpersonal relationships.

You know.. I have to laugh here... I have met so many "elite" Muslim sisters married to wealthy and well educated brothers who refuse to give them any money, but will give the children money? One brother only buys his wife clothes from Wallmart. I wonder if they ascertained their college degree from a land mine?

I have to laugh again too.. Many of these men claim " it's the sunnah of the Prophet" {sws} I guess they haven't read the Seerah? The Prophet pbh, helped not only in his own homes, but along side his companions he build masjids with his own hands, fought in war, and when he first arrived to Medinah slept on the bottom floor a Muslim family home, they were so worried that they begged him to take the highest floor in the house. They had to coerece him into doing it. What sunnah are they talking about? The Abuser's Manifesto?

Not suprised!

Shame on the parents.

It makes no sense to worship a god who despies it's own creation, who didn't ask to be here?

More of these groups are on the way. I say.. give it a good ten years, and you will see a newspaper article titled " The New Hip Hop Islam" Why people go to extremes is beyond me!