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Akhe Abdullah 
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Male Joined: 19 November 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1252 |
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 Posted: 07 December 2008 at 4:58am |
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[QUOTE=Hayfa] Salaams Sharon,
�
You know, sometimes one should be a bit distant.. its sort of like, be your dynamic, beautiful self.. really.. its like, let him know he'd be a fool to let you go.. really he would, we know that.Its like pure foolishness.. and you know.. let him know that YOUR priority is Allah, and serving Allah. And that means a good marriage. Either he is on board or not. And if not, get out of the way.. life is very short and you hve no time to wait. You want to share your life with him, but well.. no one can control another.
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How many men come back when they realize what they will loose or have lost. Let him know you love him , but you, as a human being deserves respect.� I remember this quote by Gandhi,
"no one can hurt me without my permission."
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Some poeple just go through these phases.. but he has to decide on his priorities in life. Mine is Jannah, we all forget but we should try to keep it in mind.
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And its funny, once people get in this mind set, the others realize you are not kidding. Many get themselves together.
�
And if all else fails, get out the frying pan sister.. [IMG>http://www.islamicity.com/forum/smileys/smiley16.gif" height="17" width="17" align="absmiddle" alt="Cool" /> [/QUOTE As salaamulaikum Hayfa  Jazakallah Khair for your reply the sister needs to hear that.
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sharonjundi
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Joined: 03 November 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 34 |
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Posted: 07 December 2008 at 4:52am |
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I have told him how I feel about him.... He knows that I
love him and miss him, but I can not make someone love me. He said that he has changed in the past year and that he wants to be alone. He said it is nothing that I did. He just wants to live him life and be alone for now. I think that is very selfish........... He knows that I love him. I have told him many times. I told him that we should go to counseling. He will not do any of that. I guess he enjoys being by himself. I did many things in the past months to try to be with him. We went out to dinner, to the movies, shopping, and them all of a sudden, he rejects me.......Like the DEVIL was inside of him..... He acted to crazy. Then he asked to come over for dinner for the thanksgiving holiday and I told him if he felt in his heart that he wanted to be with us, hew was more than welcome. So he came over. Then he came over for 3 days after that. Said he was trying to help around the house. Then I asked him why, and that were his intentions on still getting a divorce. Then he said if he had the money, he would have already gotten it. He said that when he came by the house, that he guesses it was confusing me. After I had told him, not to come by and not to be nice to me. So who is the confused one????????? HIM......... This man is crazy. What does he want???? So I decided to just leave him alone and hopely with ALLAH's help, either he will decide to come home or just leave me alone. I know that I miss him very much, but I try to stay very busy so I do not cry everyday. I have my granddaughter, who is 3 years old with me this weekend. So we have been very busy..... She is such a joy in my life. I thank ALLAH everyday for her.... May ALLAH bless us all and you all have a wonderful week........... Please keep praying for me.......... Thanks again, Sharon Edited by sharonjundi - 07 December 2008 at 4:54am |
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Hayfa
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Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368 |
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Posted: 06 December 2008 at 5:59pm |
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Salaams Sharon,
You know, sometimes one should be a bit distant.. its sort of like, be your dynamic, beautiful self.. really.. its like, let him know he'd be a fool to let you go.. really he would, we know that.Its like pure foolishness.. and you know.. let him know that YOUR priority is Allah, and serving Allah. And that means a good marriage. Either he is on board or not. And if not, get out of the way.. life is very short and you hve no time to wait. You want to share your life with him, but well.. no one can control another.
How many men come back when they realize what they will loose or have lost. Let him know you love him , but you, as a human being deserves respect. I remember this quote by Gandhi,
"no one can hurt me without my permission."
Some poeple just go through these phases.. but he has to decide on his priorities in life. Mine is Jannah, we all forget but we should try to keep it in mind.
And its funny, once people get in this mind set, the others realize you are not kidding. Many get themselves together.
And if all else fails, get out the frying pan sister..
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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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sharonjundi
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Joined: 03 November 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 34 |
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Posted: 06 December 2008 at 3:15pm |
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Hello
I tryed that in the past. We had a great time going out and then all of a sudden he got just decided that when I asked him if he wanted to come home, he said yes and then he never came back. He just calls and does not want to be with me. I know that in the past that he has been stressed with a lot of things in his life. I would say that our relationship with each other was not the same for the past year before he moved out. But then after he moved out, then we started going out every weekend, as if we were on a date. Then after I asked him to come home, he agreed and then when it was time to move back, he avoided me for about 1 week. I do not know what is wrong with this man. I think he is crazy. Mentally ill............ |
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jhaskell48
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Joined: 17 November 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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Posted: 06 December 2008 at 8:18am |
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Assalam alaikum Sharon:
I have been following your posts and my heart goes out to you. I also am admiring your strength and your faith in Allah. You can get through this and you will, whatever the outcome. I am going through a terrible time and reading the Qur'an is bringing me an incredible amount of peace and comfort. I am praying for you. Al Bafqarah 2:256 "...whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy Handhold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things." |
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chkwf
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Joined: 04 December 2002 Location: Alg Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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Posted: 06 December 2008 at 7:58am |
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assalamu alaikum you have to define at first the problem .
what make your husband taking the decision to leave you.
did he saw something bad from you?
try to discuss with him to know the problem . may be he misunderstood you on some matters or you are too hard with him on other matters.
from what I see in your post , you really care about him its so nice too see that but you have to show him how much he means for you.
put your beautiful clothes , invite him to a beautiful and calm place and try to discuss with him the matter.tell him how much his kids miss him .
may god help you.
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abuayisha
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Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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Posted: 06 December 2008 at 6:36am |
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sharonjundi
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Joined: 03 November 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 34 |
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Posted: 06 December 2008 at 6:19am |
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Hello,
His reactions was with anger. He said if I had the money I would have already gotten a divorce. So that is when I told him to never come by the house or call me. I told him then to just leave me alone...... Let him enjoy his life and I will enjoy mine without him.............It has been two days and I have not heard from him.. He does this. And then about 1 week later he usually calls or comes by the house. Let's see what happens this time. I need to stay strong and let it be. Whatever ALLAH wills, then it will happen. I am going shopping today, because that usually helps me to not think about him for a while. Thank you a my ALLAH bless us all. Sharon Edited by sharonjundi - 06 December 2008 at 6:20am |
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Hayfa wrote: