uncomfortable at the Mosque

lmecca67 wrote:  I have been practicing Islam for about 4 years. My problem is this: When I go to the mosque, I end up going home and crying.  The sisters are not friendly to me and the brothers are not friendly to my husband. Our children are always looked at as if they are out of control.  I try to carry on  conversations but they all gather in their own cliques and I am left in a corner sitting alone. The "straw that broke the camel's back" was during Ramadan, we went to an iftar, no one spoke to me or my  family and we ended up leaving.This is everytime that we go. How many times do you get your feelings hurt before you say enough is enough?

Salaaams and Bismillah,

It seems that many of us relate to your post.  When I first went to the mosque with my dear neighbor and sister-in-Islaam who encouraged me to go with her and buy a Quran, the women stared me down for whatever their reasons -- it was a house by the mosque and just women were there, so my friend saw no reason for me to wear a scarf when I wasn't Muslim.  I didn't go back for years, although, I looked for other mosques when I became Muslim.

However, the benefit you have is the internet.  We really are here for you.  Find a group of us that you're at least semi-comfortable with.  I rarely see other Muslims that speak with me anyway, but I have formed dear friendships with sisters here on the web. 

And you can keep trying because one mosque I went to there was a sister, years ago, who I'll call the friendly greeting committe rolled up into one person.  And she is still my friend and we bumped into each other at a mosque.  ISA you will find good, true, loving Islaamic companionship too.

Salaam Imeeca/LaQuia!

I am soooo sorry for what you are going through!!!

Well, I am 30, and I've been Muslim all my life--and let me tell that you I have gone through that SOOOO many times!!! You are not alone! I dont know what it is--but some Muslim sisters have the maturity of a 12 year old. You dont know HOW MANY times I have given the greetings to Sister's, only to have them literally look in the other direction!...As for the masjid (mosque), I have been through that whole "clique" thing. But I expect that behavior from high-school kids, not grown adult Muslim so called "Women"...

They were very rude to not speak with you at the Iftar. I would tell you that you should find a new mosque--seriously. Allah wants you to feel welcomed, and if they are treating you coldly, then maybe its time to leave. Please dont cry anymore. There are many mosques out here. Go to the "mosquefinder" section on this website, and you'll find one...And, please do not follow the advise of someone who told you to vacuum and clean up the mosque. Dont degrade yourself in that way. Life is about respect--and respect goes 2 ways. If they wont respect you, then let them clean up their own trash. There are other ways to get blessings than cleaning up for ungrateful, rude people.

Muslim Women come across as being very cold sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if its because women are scared that somebody will steal their husband, or try to become their husband's 2nd wife--seriously. Everybodys so scared somebody gonna take their brokedown looking, 'living paycheck-to-paycheck' husband.

Me, I have decided that I only need approval from Allah. Allah says that if he were to punish mankind for their wrong-doing, he would not leave on the earth a single, living creature...So, no one has the right to walk around like she's made of gold--we all fall short. As long as Allah loves me, I'm walking around on cloud 9.

Girl, I've just learned to live with all this. If I do go to the mosque, Im there to hear the kut-bah (sermon) and get my blessings and say my prayers. But, I'm a VERY friendly person, so even though the sisters are looking like they're constipated, I still smile REALLY big and say "As-Salaam-Alaikum!!!!!" , then I sit down.

Maybe soon Allah will bless you with a good Muslimah friend in your neighborhood. I'm lucky to have about 3 good Muslims friends in and I'm sooo blessed to have them--even though they're in diffrent states. They too, have had the same experineces you have--and they all cover as well.

Keep your head up Sis. Tell your Husband its going to be alright. Just find a new mosque, and see how things go.

Salaam Liyal,

Sorry Sis, I did not mean to offend you. Yes, cleaning the Mosque is for Allah,  and you did not directly tell Imecca to do so. I apolgize if what I said offended you. I just didnt want Imecca to think that cleaning the Masjid with the sole intention of gaining friends, was going to get them all to embrace her. We clean the mosque for Allah---not with the intention of winning friends. And Allah is very clear that he is concerned with our true Intentions.

I think that everyone is in agreement that we Sisters need to be more embracing and loving to each other, and at least give the greetings when we see people walk through the door, and ask how they are doing.

So, I offer everyone a Challenge: Next time we are in the masjid--Let's Give the Greetings & Hug a Sister we Never Spoke to Before...Who's up for this???

Muslimah07 wrote: Salaam Imeeca/LaQuia! Everybodys so scared somebody gonna take their brokedown looking, 'living paycheck-to-paycheck' husband.

LOL.  I needed a good laugh today.

Salam