Marriage Trouble!!!

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   Aslaam o alaaikum,
I am sorry to hear that you are in such a situation, its really upsetting when you haven't done anything to deserve the situation u r finding yourself in.
It's very easy for other people to give advice and say dump him, because they are outdsiders and its easy for us to make judgements but it is you and only you who will face them so its best for you to make a safe decision. Sometimes its not easy to walk away because there is too much to lose and leaving the person will cause more problems than staying with them.
But i guess ur in a no win situation, the only thing you can do is, fulfill ur duty as a wife and bring up your daughter and so atleast he cant put his finger up and say oh u havent done this or you havent done that. If u want you can privately msg or email me and i can offer some help or if not i can atleast lend you an ear:)

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aniqa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 23 November 2008 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote aniqa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 November 2008 at 6:06am
	Aslaam o alaaikum, I am sorry to hear that you are in such a situation, its really upsetting when you haven't done anything to deserve the situation u r finding yourself in. It's very easy for other people to give advice and say dump him, because they are outdsiders and its easy for us to make judgements but it is you and only you who will face them so its best for you to make a safe decision. Sometimes its not easy to walk away because there is too much to lose and leaving the person will cause more problems than staying with them. But i guess ur in a no win situation, the only thing you can do is, fulfill ur duty as a wife and bring up your daughter and so atleast he cant put his finger up and say oh u havent done this or you havent done that. If u want you can privately msg or email me and i can offer some help or if not i can atleast lend you an ear:)

raiya16 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 06 October 2008 Status: Offline Points: 14	Post Options Post Reply Quote raiya16 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 November 2008 at 2:02pm
	Salaams everyone, Just wanted to let you know that this weekend i got the courage to tell my family what has been going on. they came to pick my baby and i up, nd i have been at their house since last nite. i am not going back to my husband, i am going to live here with my cousins, and they are going to look after my baby and i. i have spoken to my parents and they have advised me to leave this man as well. his parents also know what is going on. Today my husband came to my cousins house and i spoke to him nicely and told him i do not want to be in this relationship any longer, but he can see his child because i will never stop that... I got my bank card, passport etc back from him as well... My family have been here for me, and i am not scared anymore. i am very sad that it has come to this but i know that Allah has plan for me nd Inshallah i will be happy. i just had to get out of the hell i was in... Jazakallah to everyone who has kept me in their duas, may Allah forgive all your sins, protect you, and grant you jannatul firdous Inshallah... I will keep in touch just to let everyone know what is happening... Assalamu alaikum....

Chrysalis Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033	Post Options Post Reply Quote Chrysalis Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 November 2008 at 5:09am
	Allahu Akbar! Subhanallah, great news sister. Will keep u in my prayers. . . keep us posted. And keep ur chin up! :)
	"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."

Shasta'sAunt Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 29 March 2008 Status: Offline Points: 1930	Post Options Post Reply Quote Shasta'sAunt Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 November 2008 at 11:28am
	Salaams Sister, I am very happy that you and your baby are safe, Al HamdilAllah. Please let us know how you are both doing....
	�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.� Eleanor Roosevelt

gumus Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 09 August 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 10	Post Options Post Reply Quote gumus Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 25 November 2008 at 7:55am
	Salaams sister I'm so happy for you and you did the best thing, it's a blessing that you got your personal documents in your posession. I hope he has no access to your bank account/card. Just to be on safe side you might want to change the access code or take his name out of the account to be on the safe side. I have a feeling now that you stood up he could be scared. I know alot of other children even from broken homes but when they are nourished with good love from the parent the child ends up being supportive. Duas are with you and the baby still. Everything will be alot better foryou now inshallah.

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 November 2008 at 4:00am
	Subhanallah, thisi s great news.. I am so happy your family is there for you. I agree with gumus, change the accounts, just for security, as one never knows. Upon all that you have been through you don't want financial matters to add to it. Give yourself space and time for you to recover. Often it is not the physical wounds but the mental and emotional ones that pain us the most. Be kind to yourself. Allah has made we women Strong! Some perceive us as "weak" due to physical stature. But we deal with alot. May Allah reward you for your patience. My Duas are with you and the baby. Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

raiya16 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 06 October 2008 Status: Offline Points: 14	Post Options Post Reply Quote raiya16 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 November 2008 at 6:33am
	jazakallah for all your duas, they have helped a lot. Luckily, i do have my bank stuff back, he had to give it to me, because everything is in my name, and it is illegal for him to hold my documents. I have changed the card pin numbers so i do not have to worry. His wage is still coming into my account because he has to wait 2 weeks for his work to change accounts. Sisters i also want to ask a very important question so please respond as quickly as you can... We have had so many arguments, and in almost every one of those arguments, even tho it was just us two, he has said to me "i am giving you talaaq" Does this mean we are already divorced a long time ago? Because he has said it ore than 3 times... about 20 times even!!! I need to know, because my uncle is coming from south africa, and we were going to go with him to my husband and ask him to give me talaaq. Please let me know if you know about this, because maybe that will not be necessary if he has already said it. Baby and i are doing fine Alhamdulillah... Yes women are very strong... i thank Allah for giving me the strength to take such a big step. I know Allah hates divorce but i will make dua and pray everyday that he makes me maaf Inshallah... I will keep you informed as to the progress of the matter. Please respond to my question as soon as possible.

gumus Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 09 August 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 10	Post Options Post Reply Quote gumus Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 November 2008 at 8:40pm
	Salaams Allah will forgive you inshallah as this was the last thing you wanted(a divorce), you only did this as the last choice since there was no other option. You had a legitamite reason for your divorce so Allah will forgive you Inshallah. By the way do not sign anything without knowing what you are about to sign, and he can't threaten you to sign against your will. For the talaaq I may be wrong so please confirm with an Islamic Scholar, but even a woman can obtain through the Islamic Scholar/Islamic court and get divorce by asking for it.