my mom wont let me marry him

As-Salaam Alaikum,

I just wanted to sister angelino that I am a interracial relationship.  I just wanted to add my two cents.  First of all I want to say that just because you marry someone from the same background don't necessarily mean that you are compatible for that person.  Even though you come from the same culture or background people still have different taste.  My husband is from Pakistan, and I am African-American.  I have been married to him for four years, and we get along pretty good.  We have disagreements, in fact we had a disagreement last night.  It wasn't about culture, it was basically about me starting a online business through e-bay, and him just not agreeing with it.  Plus before we got engaged I prepared myself.  I knew that I was marrying someone from a different culture I basically learned how to make Pakistani food, and now I am a Pak-food addict.  I have no plans to go to a twelve program either.  Secondly, I don't tell him to forget about his Pakistani culture and he doesn't tell me to forget about mine.  I have Sari and Shalwar Kameez in my closet because I WANT THEM, AND I LIKE THEM.  He told me that he wanted a African outfit because he wanted one.  Secondly we go to African-American functions.  For example, every year he likes to go the Kwanzaa celebrations.  Everytime that time comes around he always wants to go.  We go to African World Festival every year in my state.  This past weekend we went to the KO-THI African Dance Concert, and he loved it.  He shared with me the similarities of the instruments and clothing that is found in his culture.  For example, the African men pants and Pakistani mens shalwar kameez pants looks similar.  Plus, I go to Pakistani functions.  Any functions that celebrate Pakistani cultures we always go to together.  anyway I will type more inshallah.  I have to get to work.  You was on my mind I had to type something fast.

Hakeema

Main Entry: mis�ce�ge�na�tion

Pronunciation: (")mi-"se-j&-'nA-sh&n, "mi-si-j&-'nA-

Function: noun

Etymology: irregular from Latin miscEre to mix + genus race -- more at MIX, KIN

: a mixture of races; especially : marriage, cohabitation, or sexual intercourse between a white person and a member of another race

Merriam Websters Dicitonary Online

The word miscegenation quickly entered the common language of the day and became a popular buzzword in political and social discourse. For a century, it was common for white segregationists to accuse abolitionists, and, later, advocates of equal rights for African Americans, of secretly plotting the destruction of the white race through miscegenation.

One important strategy intended to discourage the practice was the promulgation of the one-drop theory, which held that any person with so much as "one drop" of African "blood" must be regarded as completely "black". After World War II, white segregationists commonly accused the U.S. Civil Rights Movement and Martin Luther King, Jr., of being part of a communist plot funded by the Soviet Union to destroy the "white United States" through miscegenation

In 1965, Virginia trial court Judge Leon Bazile sentenced to jail an interethnic couple who had married in Washington, D.C., writing:

Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, Malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.[1]

This decision was eventually overturned in 1967, 84 years after Pace v. Alabama, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously in Loving v. Virginia that

Marriage is one of the 'basic civil rights of man,' fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law.

Sometimes the individuals attempting to marry would not be held guilty of miscegenation itself, but felony charges of adultery or fornication would be brought against them instead; Vermont was the only state to never introduce such legislation.

continued...

(1) A non-Arab man for an Arab woman

" Allah has chosen the Arabs above others"

I mean no disrespect to Sheik Nuh but there is no daleel for this in this manual. There is no source such as Sahih Bukhari. I could not find this hadith in Sahih Bukhari nor could I find it the Muttwa of Imam Malik.

All three Imam's said that if anything they said contractdicted the Qur'an to reject it.

O mankind! We created you from a single soul, male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, so that you may come to know one another. Truly, the most honored of you in God's sight is the greatest of you in piety. God is All-Knowing, All-Aware. [Koran, 49:13]

(3) A man of a lowly profession for the daughter of some one with a higher profession

Notice that wealth is not mentioned. The point here is education.

Sadly and unfortunately this thread is becoming derailed by a discussion on race relations. We have a young girl who has recently lost her father, she is not in school and wanting to marry an African American man. I am really troubled by her situation and feel that much of the specious arguments about race are inappropriate.

I have found that "studies" state the obvious or are simply incorrect. One study has found that interracial marriages fail at a higher rate. That is my feeling. Another study has found that African American men marry outside their race higher than any other group. Why is that? Certainly that is a subject for another topic.

I'm not a statisian so I can't debate the accuracy of actuaries with you. I'm going to address what you call a subject for another topic. I have to respectfully disagree with your position on that study about black men have the highest interracial marriages. The Census bureau states that inter-racial marriages with black men and the other are no more than I believe 10 to 20% a very low percentage. It may be even lower than that. Just becuase black American men choose to marry out side their race doesn't make them defected or untrustworthy nor does it mean black women are invaluable and unwanted. There are black American men who dislike black women due to cultural practices, certian mentalities, obesity, and the after affect of slavery and segregation. You speak in such a way as to imply like marrying an African American is not marry a human? The majority of black men marry white women or else because that is what they are honestly attracted to, and those black men who are upper middle class are in enviournments where black women may not be present. Example Republican Micheal Steel in Virginia. But I could also list Senator Barak Obama and His wife as an example of the same race marriage success story. You also need to understand that there are more women than men in most socieites, given that fact, many are free to choose spouses/mates/etc from a diverse picking so to speak they have more options.

I am only prepared to believe that her family are honorable and have their daughters best interest in mind. Why not start another discussion for race relations.