Question about rape

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   Assalamu alaikum brother Ali Zaki,
Your wife is blessed to have such a good and protective husband.  You must realize, though, that this is not the reality for many, many of us Muslim sisters.
Peace, ummziba.

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ummziba Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 16 March 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 1158	Post Options Post Reply Quote ummziba Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08 June 2005 at 11:45am
	Assalamu alaikum brother Ali Zaki, Your wife is blessed to have such a good and protective husband. You must realize, though, that this is not the reality for many, many of us Muslim sisters. Peace, ummziba.
	Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~

Ali Zaki Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 10 May 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 217	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ali Zaki Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08 June 2005 at 1:16pm
	Salam to all, Thank you for your kind words Ummziba. I'm sure you're husband is blessed as well. Dr_Sara, is you're husband a Muslim? (or does anyone else know). Salam
	"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad." Imam Ali (a.s.)

dr_sarah Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 22 May 2005 Location: Switzerland Status: Offline Points: 5	Post Options Post Reply Quote dr_sarah Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 June 2005 at 7:40am
	Thank you all for showing your concerns. I am happy that there are people who can help others and give advice to others who are in need. Yes, my husband is a muslim but not a perfect muslim. I am in a sitaution where i am not blaming my husband for all that i have had or i am suffering. Its just that the brother in law takes the advantage of the situation and he is good at removing all the proof. He is a doctor himself so he makes the move a calculated one. I cannot disclose at this forum in details, so its a complicated one where i cannot blame my husband and in reality a husband cannot protect a wife round the clock, except for some exceptions. I love my husband and i never had any complaints as a wife. May God give me and all others who are in distress, the strength to face and get out of these sorta situations. Regards

Ali Zaki Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 10 May 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 217	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ali Zaki Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 June 2005 at 8:42am
	Salam alakum dr_Sarah, Belive me, I have not led a sheltered life (I was raised in Los Angeles, Ca. until 21 as a "Christian" (in name only) and a singer in a "rock" band until Allah (s.w.a.) guided and corrected me). I am the last person in the world who likes to give advice to someone (especially unsolicited advice) and I don't know (nor do I have a desire to know) the details of your life situation. I must say, however, that my heart went out to you when I read you post and I was genuinely astonished at how this could be happening in any type of household, much less a Muslim one. My main motivation for posting was to give you another Muslim husbands perspective (as I am aware that this forum is intended for Womens issues). I am not presumptious enought to tell you what you should do, however, I will stand by my statement that the main responsiblity (especially for a Muslim man) of a husband is to protect his wife and family. I believe that even the providing for (which is also wajib for a man) comes second in importance. The reason is logical. Most women can provide for themselves and their children financially (if neccessary, especially in the West), however, they cannot (in most cases) defend themselves when attacked by other men. So who can defend them EXCEPT THEIR HUSBAND. I would strongly encourage you to seek counseling together from a pious Muslim scholar that you trust, and you think will be helpful. If you cannot find one in your area, let me know and I will see if any of my connections can give you a referal in Switzerland (or another place, if this is not where you are). I will continue to remember you in my dua'a. May Allah help you and give you his guidance and mercy in this difficult time. Salam.
	"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad." Imam Ali (a.s.)

Ali Zaki Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 10 May 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 217	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ali Zaki Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 June 2005 at 10:17am
	ONE MORE THING, TO ALL SISTERS (and brothers); Tonight is Laylat Al'Jummat, and the gates of Allah's mercy are open wide tonight (as we all know). I humbly request that we remember dr_sarah in our dua. Salam
	"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad." Imam Ali (a.s.)

Jenni Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jenni Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 June 2005 at 10:27am
	I have to say that I think Muslim men are seriously failing at thier duty to protect muslim women. Muslim men like to interpret the Hadiths to thier advantage to take maximum advantage of women and abuse them to the fullest. As a convert this is my biggest complaint and feel that Muslim men are so far from the prophet and how he taught women that they are just lost in the dessert. I feel sorry for women of the world, will Allah Pak forgive the men?
	You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.

Ali Zaki Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 10 May 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 217	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ali Zaki Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 June 2005 at 10:38am
	Peace to Jenni, " Muslim men like to interpret the Hadiths to thier advantage to take maximum advantage of women and abuse them to the fullest." " I feel sorry for women of the world, will Allah Pak forgive the men?" I must object to this statemet, as I am a Muslim man. I have seen many gender specific prejudicial statements (directed against both genders) in the "Womens (Sisters) " and " Men (Brothers)" Forum. This is not helpful, and only causes fitna (division) in our Umma. Please (both Brothers and Sisters), stop posting these things! I'm sorry if you have had some negative experiences with Muslim men in your life, however, there are some Muslim men who have harmonious and happy lives with their wives and children because the commandments of Allah (s.w.a.) are obeyed and the Prophets (and the Ahly Al'Bayts) directives and advice are followed. Peace
	"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad." Imam Ali (a.s.)

Jenni Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 705	Post Options Post Reply Quote Jenni Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 June 2005 at 10:55am
	I agree there are many good Muslim men in the world. And non Muslim men may be worse. But when a man goes to the Mosque and prays and fasts and is kind to his mother and never says thank you to his wife and turns her into a maid, is he really a good husband? At a recent Haliqa in my local masjid about happiness in Marraige all of the women out of 20 except two were very sad and angry about thier marriages. None of them complained about not having a nice house or money. They all felt unnapreciated and like thier husbands treat them like second class servents. They don't help with the kids and when thier wives are pregnant or sick they don't cut them any slack and help out. These women are sad!!! And if a woman is ever a victim, is she is molested as a youngster or raped men will blame her first. The man in Muslim coutries is allmost never convicted of rape, just look at the exapmle in Pakistan of the gang rape of a tribal woman by her husband and a bunch of thugs, the guys were all let go today!!
	You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.