Help me to Understand

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   I must tell all of you, I'm feeling better, better alhamduliallah!  I know now that Allah send me here to get my strength.  Thank all of you so much.  But I must tell you something that is crazy!  I'm afraid to feel good, afraid that something is around the corner for me again to hit me, hurt me.  its like Im in a good place and afraid to move on to another.  I don't know what will be there.  I know it sound so silly, but its true.  I just want to stay in this one spot, were I feel safe now.

Fatimah

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gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 31 March 2010 at 8:18am
	I must tell all of you, I'm feeling better, better alhamduliallah! I know now that Allah send me here to get my strength. Thank all of you so much. But I must tell you something that is crazy! I'm afraid to feel good, afraid that something is around the corner for me again to hit me, hurt me. its like Im in a good place and afraid to move on to another. I don't know what will be there. I know it sound so silly, but its true. I just want to stay in this one spot, were I feel safe now. Fatimah

Chrysalis Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033	Post Options Post Reply Quote Chrysalis Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 31 March 2010 at 11:11pm
	This thread and the posts made me cry ! May Allah bless the sisters here who are always giving such comforting advise. All of you please include everyone here in their Duas. . . starting from your very next salaat. JazakAllah Khair. Edited by Chrysalis - 31 March 2010 at 11:11pm
	"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 01 April 2010 at 8:51am
	Asalaam ALaikum, Good to see you Loves.... Gynks: just be where you are. Have faith in Allah that all will be as it is meant to be.
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 01 April 2010 at 9:14am
	Sister Hayfa, thank you for your support. Thank all of you for supporting me and helping so very much. You don't even know me and all of you have been such a great help to me. I appreciate it more than you know. Yes, I will wait, I must learn patience, its the hardest thing I will ever do I believe or at least one of the hardest. I will wait and be still and pray for peace and calm as before. thank you sisters and brothers. fatimah

martha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 30 October 2007 Status: Offline Points: 1140	Post Options Post Reply Quote martha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 01 April 2010 at 12:35pm
	Fatimah, I am so pleased you are feeling better :D I can understand what you say about feeling afraid to feel happy. It is probably because you are still grieving for your father and you don't want to be seen to be happy, in case it is disrespecting him. BUt be assured, he does not want you to grieve anymore. DOn't feel guilty about being happy. Enjoy life.
	some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set

gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 01 April 2010 at 12:45pm
	Salaam Martha, You know I do grieve for my dad everyday, everyday. I use to love to go and take them riding and my dad love to listen to nice soft music. Anywhere he wanted to go I take him, no matter where it was. But he was the best ever. I remember as a girl, when I begin to look for jobs, I was so afraid to go, my dad would take off his job and go with me on interviews, wow! I never know any other of my friends whos dad do this, none of them. It was dad who made our family strong and have no fears after all he has 5 girls and we all run to daddy, daddy always even as adults. We had great respect for him and my mother so much. Just when I go to the burial grounds and see his name there, I can't believe he is in the ground and it hurts so so much. I think of him when i ride home in my car, while i cook, even when i watch TV and especially when I listen to the music he loved. I never had anything hurt me so much in my life. I wish many days that time could go back. I think it bothers me so much that none us could see the signs. It was years since all of my parents children were together in same place, years, even his grandchildren were there. Why did I not know the mean of that? none of us did, we were all shocked when he passed. He was 86 years but he looked 65, even now I can still see his soft face and feel his strong protecting hands. I really miss him terrible. We all do. Edited by gynks79 - 01 April 2010 at 12:48pm

seekshidayath Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Islam Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 3357	Post Options Post Reply Quote seekshidayath Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 April 2010 at 3:50am
	As Salamu Alaikum Sis Fatimah, sometimes, it's tough to accept facts in our lives, esp the loss of loved ones. Yes, we do miss their presence in our lives, but you need to pacify yourselves, that he is at a better place than this.
	Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."

gynks79 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 16 March 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 54	Post Options Post Reply Quote gynks79 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 April 2010 at 5:33am
	Wylekum Asalaam Sister, yes, of course you are right. Its just we miss our dad so much. I use to ask my mom long ago, how can you live without your parents when they die. She would say, she think of them everyday, not a day go by without her thoughts of them. Now I know that feeling its so hard feeling dear sister. I know we all must go in our time, my head know this sure, but my heart, just miss him so much. Thank you. Fatimah