Husbands Helping out?

ZamanH wrote: Jenni wrote: Salaam sisters, I was wondering how you all feel about your husbands helping around the house. Before I got married I made it very clear that I would not do all of the housework and child care myself and my husband agreed.  That is the reason, I feel sorry for your husband. You are too lazy or too inept. Either way, your husband should not have married you. Women from other cultures don't make such fuss.

Zaman you are wrong...you can't solve the problems from this perspective....

Jenni wrote: Rose, why do you think that it is a females job? Everything I have studied in Islam says that it is the Husbands job to maintain the home. The wife is not required to maintain it, if she does so she is doing an act of charity for him. And as far as taking care of the kids there is the loving and teaching them and the physical care for them such as the bathing and dressing which are just as much the resposibility of the father. Muslims get the idea that this is womans work, this is cultural not Islamic. And in wealthier Muslim countries and even in Pakistan where my Husband is from upper middle class women do basically no housework and have a fulltime maid and gardener. They pretty much only cook and thats it, if they want to. Some have nannys as well who help with the kids if they don't have thier moms or mother in laws around. Since we are living in the U.s.a and labor is very expensive I don't expect all that. But I do expect him to help around the house, since this is not my job I am just doing as a favor to him. Peace

Wow. You mean all these men are out working their backsides off all day to keep their wives, their children AND their servants? No wonder these men are so annoyed. They must feel they get treated like farm animals. Or do the servants get paid so little that the man doesn't have to work too hard?

Maybe some people need to think about earning less money and have lower expectations.

Just like some people around here seem to demand of we Westerners...

Sheesh - at least we try to _hide_ the fact that our countries are wealthy due to exploiting the third world. Apparently some of YOUR lot are doing it openly on a daily basis...

Kim...

Jenni wrote: Well, in Pakistan if people like my husbands family didn't hire maids and pay them, give them fabric for clothes and pay for thier kids uniforms and books for school they would have no food and no money. That is the reality. And my husbands family just paid for the gardeners daughters wedding. Thier is unfortunatly no other job opportunity for them.

This is nice, but perhaps someone needs to start trying to do something about A) the unemployment rate and, B) rates of pay.

Kim...

herjihad wrote: Bismillah, Dear Jenni,  I disagree with some of your ideas, but a discussion board is where we exchange ideas, so please don't leave.  I also agree with a lot of your ideas and feel respect for your ability to express yourself. ZAMAN HAS NOTHING WORTHWHILE TO CONTRIBUTE.  HE ADVOCATES TERROISM AND INSULTS OUR GOOD WOMEN.

 

Oh I so agree with you about ZamanH! And he needs to remember there are men in hell too.

 When the Prophet Mohamed did not make slaves of the house out of his wives. When something needed mending he did it, remember? He did not call Aisha out of the other room to fix his article of clothing. But most men think the woman is only there to keep his house, have his kids and serve him. Granted not all men are like this but many are.

My husband will help me because we both work. Don't get me wrong, he is not just going to do it, I have to ask him first. I make sure it is only 2 things at a time because if you give someone a list of things to do it becomes overwhelming. But he will help out and he will even cook because he loves to.

I think the problem with men is how they were raised. If the mother raises her son to help her and respect her then he will help and respect his wife. Most women do not make the boys in a house do anything to help and that is where the problems start.

Sometimes I wonder why women get married at all. All the work is on their shoulders 24 hours a day.

 

Lameese