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Question for muslim brothers

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foody View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote foody Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 11:02am
Abeer23,

That is right Abeer23, but if I am married to a woman who is "working  bee" love of work and this world more than the love of family and the after life, then I seriously have made the worst choice ever. Which goes back to Israfil frustration. Look for the right mate for you, if you find situation arises where you live in a country where it forces both men and women to work and barely surviving then perhaps you should avoid marrying all together, save up enough money and move somewhere else where "working bees" are not more important than marriage, family, and religion.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 12:57pm

then perhaps it is me that is not a good muslim.....Also I love how when someone associates my comment as if I'm specifically commenting on Qur'an when I was referring to the "rhetoric" here made by members. I'm sorry if I'm realistic. Perhaps the problem with our society today is that we tend to become too much like literalist when it comes to doctrine and rather sympathetic to each other's situations.

In commenting on MM comments:

Even if Texas is one of the highest (which I highly doubt in comparison to California) the fact that there is no property tax of course your local government would have to suppliment that loss by taxing you elsewhere. One of the things why I would never explain God's existence or proseltyze to other about Qur'an is because we truly cannnot comprehend the spiritual implication of the words even if they are plain and clear. The Qur'an is composed of metaphors, allegores and literal meanings thus when we comment on certain verses in the Qur'an make careful consideration of the words "All-knowing" and "All merciful"

With that said...Even if it is an order by God I'm sure god is also knowing of each every prson situation. Just because I feel that a woman should work makes it no less reasonable and against God then someone who holds the belief that a woman should not work. My main position (which according to foody's statements seem to misunderstand totally) here is that where I live, which is Southern California, if a man doesn't have a good job to suppliment his expenses he can suffer economically. In Los Angeles to generate a decent living both parties have to make a combine $100,000.

I don't live in Los Angeles (Although I work there) this is quite true. Everyone's situation is different and the thing we tend to miss as a Muslim community is empathy for each and every persons situation. With respect to that I find your comment foody, bad advice. According to your statement I should move from this country because it will cause me to look in your words " a working bee." Brother, if there could be no wrong advice. Rather, we should understand that God with his wisdom has understanding of this. This is not some sin. This is not like me locking my woman in a closet everytime she goes outside. Or like Saudi Arabia where women cannot drive or Afghanistan where I take a Klashikov rifle to a woman's head.

There are many Muslim women here that work and come from countries where so-called "puritanical Islam" exist. My first priority is myself number one. In order for me to offer something to a woman I'd first have to stabilize myself, but I also think a woman should understand her surroundings and understand that a man cannot do everything. I do not like dependent women like that. To me dependent women in the sense of the expectation that a man should do everything economically in my opinion is weakness. As I was raised by a woman a woman should never have to depend on a man economically.

A woman should be educated and prepare for if the situation occurs she is able to work and provide for herself. In my duty it's common sense. I'm a cop, I can get killed or incapcitated. What happens if my wife has no degree or no proper skills? She will suffer. What about my kids? Oh is my wife gonna take loans out to make ends meet? Instead of the women making comments here about how bad my thinking is be realistic. Not every man does non-hazardous jobs and I think how some of your statements are unfair and unrealistic to my situation.

I find another obligation of muslims is to be sympathetic and empathetic to each others situations but we should never suggest something to someone if it goes against their personal interest such as moving away from this country especially after I established myself in a career. Again I love independent and interdependent women but I find that in 2006 this year depending on your situation women should contribute whether partially or fully.

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peacemaker View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peacemaker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 4:32pm

Assalamu Alaikum!

I have a point that I would like to convey with no offense to anyone intended. Let us stick to the topic and try to answer questions in a simplified way in the light of Qur�an and Sunnah. Then everyone is free, ofcourse, to make his or her decision. Let us re-visit the questions asked by Sister Moona ( Topic Starter ).

Do you believe it is the husbands duty for the financial support of his wife and children?

Islamic stand point is that it is the husband�s duty for the financial support of his wife and children. If husband is sick or there are other "unavoidable" situations that limit husband from working, then obviously, man would not be held accountable as far as this duty is concerned.

Or do you believe the wife should contribute financially as well if she can?

It is not wife�s duty to contribute. If she earns and makes contributions out of her free will, there is no problem in that. But, she can not be forced in anyway to earn to contribute financially. And if she earns, it is her money, and she is free to spend it as she likes.

And if the wife makes more money than the husband?

It doesn�t matter who makes more money. Islamic rules about husband/wife duties stand where they are.  

Isnt her income considered to be her money?

Yes, her income is considered her money.

Thank you for your response.

Welcome, Sister.

Peace



Edited by peacemaker
Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
Qur'an 55:13
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Mishmish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mishmish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 4:54pm

Assalamu Alaikum Brother Israfil:

" One of the things why I would never explain God's existence or proseltyze to other about Qur'an is because we truly cannnot comprehend the spiritual implication of the words even if they are plain and clear. The Qur'an is composed of metaphors, allegores and literal meanings thus when we comment on certain verses in the Qur'an make careful consideration of the words "All-knowing" and "All merciful""

The Quran states:

'He it is Who has sent down to thee the book: in it are verses basic or fundamental (of established meaning); they are the foundation of the Book: others are allegorical. But those  in whose hearts is perversity follow the part that is allegorical, seeking discord and searching for its hidden meanings, but no one knows its hidden meanings except Allah. And those who are firmly grounded in knowledge say: "We believe in the Book; the whole of it is from our Lord:" and none will grasp the Message except men of understanding.' (Al Imran Verse 7)

Yes, there are verses in the Quran that are allegorical, but no one understands these verses except Allah(SWT). The rest of the Quran is extremely easy to understand as it was sent for all people for all time. Even those who are unlettered and illiterate.

The question of maintenance, the treatment of people, and the basics of Islam are among the verses considered basic and fundamental. Even children can understand them. These are the words of Allah(SWT), not mine.



Edited by Mishmish
It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)
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Israfil View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 7:00pm
Well point being perhaps its not in my destiny to marry a Muslimah then since all Muslimah think as you do. Or perhaps I shouldn't marry a Muslimah at all for the reasons I have
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foody View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote foody Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 8:24pm
Israfil can you be a man?
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Mishmish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mishmish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 10:08pm

Assalamu Alaikum:

Brother Israfil,

There are many Muslimahs who want to work. But, If she chooses to work, that is her choice. When you say you won't marry a Muslimah who thinks it is her right not to work, well, where will you find this Sister? The right not to work is a right given to women by Allah(SWT). Any Muslimah that you meet will know her God given rights. 

It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)
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foody View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote foody Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2006 at 10:29pm
Oh jeeze my aunt married a rich man, he has wealth beyond wealth, but she have her own store, she works there..selling women clothing and have her own money...and he is rich....sooo...what is the problem here? Didn't the prophit say cut the hands of anyone who doesn't work? Hell even the beggers are working, they are begging that is a job by itself, some clean car glasses, that is working even if he is begging, some play music on the street, that is working, even if he is begging, some make baskets and sell them in the street, another form of begging, but that is working. So you gotta work..she has to work...he has to work...

But bare in mind...that she also have the rights not work....but if she bares children that is the toughest job in the world..she has to bare your children, take care of the house, take care of your needs...the biggest sarcifice a women will initiate...so think about it my brother, before you dish muslimah women.  These American and modern women only think about herself most of the time...is that the type of person you want?


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