Urgent Marriage Advice Needed

Salam Alykom wa Ramatulahe wa Baraketo I am in a terrible position with my husband. He has told me he doesn't want to be married to me any longer. I am devastated, I love him so much, he is usually a wonderful man. Our problems usually are caused by my jealousy and insecurity. He has hid things from me many times, and then I learn of them and get angry with him.  Last week, he told me he needed to change his life, and was going to leave me. I cried and begged him to please not leave for hours. He left but then called me, I kept crying until I passed out, so he came home, and promised he would stay, and said he was sorry for hurting me. Everything seemed to get better until yesterday. He is in Neptune, NJ for meetings for his job, and among others is a woman, that I had found her number on his phone a few weeks ago. When we spoke yesterday afternoon, he told me that he was in his room with his roommate and said that they were going to go walk at the boardwalk. I asked him if the woman was going to go also, and he didn't answer me, so I asked again, and he said yes. He knew this would upset me, but he chose to go because he didn't want to remain in his room alone. I later found out that she sat in the front seat next to him. I was hurt and mad about this and sent him several text messages telling him how I felt, and told him that I was going to leave. He begged me to calm down, that there is nothing between them. I called him later, but his cell phone was turned off, I called the hotel room and no one answered. I tried for an hour to call him. I sent the woman a text message to have him call me and within moments, he called me. He told me that he had been sitting outside of his room. This morning the same thing happened again. After thinking about it, I decided to go to him to suprise him. I bought a new outfit and drove 2 hours to see him. I was waiting for him when he came out of his meeting, he walked out with her and another man, but she was close to my husband. When my husband saw me, he wasn't happy that I was there. We drove back to his hotel, where he told me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore and that he is not coming home. I tried to talk to him, to calm him down, and asked him to please forgive me, but he said it is final that our marriage is over. He did not give me talaaq, but he says that our marriage is over and told me to get in my car and go home. As soon as I got out of the car he left.I sat in my car for a long time crying, I calmed myself and decided to go home to prevent from making him any madder with me. I had a minor car accident on my way home, and because I could not stop crying the police officer would not let me drive my car, and made me get a hotel room or he was going to make me go to the hospital. I sent my husband a message telling him what happened 2 hours ago, and he hasn't called me. I can barely see through my tears to write this email to you, I would do anything it takes to save my marriage, wa'Allahe, and I told him that, but he doesn't care. He is mad that I over reacted to what happened. I partially agree, but also think that it was wrong for him to take that lady with him, and for not telling me the whole truth.  Please tell what I should do, I am an American Revert, and sometimes overstep my boundries as a Muslim wife, Wa'Allahe, I know that I should not get so angry, but it hurts that he hides things from me, especially when it involves other women, even if he has not done anything wrong. I asked him to help me control this by not hiding things from me, but he still hides things from. Please, please help me so that I do not lose my  husband. I am so devastated about this, I don't want to lose him, he has made such a difference in my life, I love him, and don't know how I will survive with out him.

Edited by jacquie - 03 August 2008 at 6:23am

Salaams Sister:

Edited by Shasta'sAunt - 02 August 2008 at 11:50pm

Do you have children?