Outlining the ideal husband

Pati your post outlines the song I very much like (and hope you're familiar with) a song by Steveland Wonder (or known as Stevie Wonder) "Send one your love" if you're not familiar check it out on youtube a very beautiful song.

Interesting topic Patti!

  Oh sister, this is a very HOT topic. I just like your opinions about the ideal man. But Here comes  the question.

             Is this man exist on the Earth??? I wonder.

  I remembered in past watching a movie with the title a made up man. The heroin  is looking for the ideal Hubby but couldn't find any man with her needed conditions.  At the end she decided to make this man herself.
She got married to a man who is ZERO in everything and started to make him an ideal husband for her.  This is what I guess I will do but the problem is that some men are not zero but  minus( _ ) without any willing to change

 ... which is hopeless.
  Let me say something, I hate the selfish man who just thinks only of his own desires and needs.  Some men has a very long list of needs and requirements that they want from their wives.. while they are not thinking about the women own needs. 
   Some unfortunately men who are considered to be good Muslims, do so much prayers and worships but bad and rude with their wives.
   Some men are blind, they see only the darkness. They keep criticizing the women all the time and reminding them of their faults.

                    But would they please look at their  own faults???

   And the worst thing which really makes me sad some times, I see the men so good when they are new married. They treat their wives very well but  this   doesn't last. After  having one child, he becomes another man. Let's say after living together so many years, he starts to treat her like a piece of furniture at home. It is serious...

    I wonder do the love and respect have an expiration date???
             Seriously .. I hope to know
     The ideal man is Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, would the men  please  study how he treated his waives and learn form him??





Edited by Full of Hopes - 03 September 2009 at 5:29pm

Full of Hopes wrote:   Oh sister, this is a very HOT topic. I just like your opinions about the ideal man. But Here comes  the question.              Is this man exist on the Earth??? I wonder.   I remembered in past watching a movie with the title a made up man. The heroin  is looking for the ideal Hubby but couldn't find any man with her needed conditions.  At the end she decided to make this man herself. She got married to a man who is ZERO in everything and started to make him an ideal husband for her.  This is what I guess I will do but the problem is that some men are not zero but  minus( _ ) without any willing to change  ... which is hopeless.   Let me say something, I hate the selfish man who just thinks only of his own desires and needs.  Some men has a very long list of needs and requirements that they want from their wives.. while they are not thinking about the women own needs.     Some unfortunately men who are considered to be good Muslims, do so much prayers and worships but bad and rude with their wives.    Some men are blind, they see only the darkness. They keep criticizing the women all the time and reminding them of their faults.                     But would they please look at their  own faults???    And the worst thing which really makes me sad some times, I see the men so good when they are new married. They treat their wives very well but  this   doesn't last. After  having one child, he becomes another man. Let's say after living together so many years, he starts to treat her like a piece of furniture at home. It is serious...     I wonder do the love and respect have an expiration date???              Seriously .. I hope to know      The ideal man is Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, would the men  please  study how he treated his waives and learn form him??

Hi dear,

I don't agree with something you said:

 "At the end she decided to make this man herself. She got married to a man who is ZERO in everything and started to make him an ideal husband for her.  This is what I guess I will do but the problem is that some men are not zero but  minus( _ ) without any willing to change"

It's a very big mistake, in my opinion, to start a common life thinking about the bad things you want to change in your husband.

When you get married, you change, because everyone change. Your life is different, your aims too, your priorities should change, you have responsibilities, etc... You your character will change.

Where is the point? For women, it's very easy to accept these changes, because it's inside us. Just a silly example: when we are children, we play with dolls, and we say "we are the mum"... it's not a play, we are just practising for the future. It's a natural thing. Some people say that it's because of society, but I don't agree, I think it's something natural on us as women, because even the poor children without money to buy a doll are developing the same behaviour.

What about men? Which are their plays? Football, basketball, different machines, etc... men plays only. They are not used to play with women while being children, even, they are used to reject every women who wants to play with them (in general). So, that's their natural behaviour.

That's why, a very close friend of mine, says that men should be at least 20 years older than their wives, in order to be in an equal level of maturity (I don't think so, even 20 years are not enough!!!).

Where is our hope? Well, in my opinion, before getting married the couple should arrive to lot of agreements, and this way none of them will feel cheated after the time... for instance, about children: men prefer to wait few years and enjoy the marriage, while women use to want it as soon as possible.

Another point, with the house works: in the current times, both are working, and for women is very difficult to develop their works outside and inside, as well as to take care of children, the rest of the family, friends, etc... it's too much!!!!

We should not think that we can "make" the ideal husband with our hands, because it's impossible. Every human being is having own character, and changing it during the whole life.

We just have to pray to be able to find "our" ideal husband, the one who will understand us and share his life with us.

I wish you will do sooner or later

Hugs
Patricia