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What would you do if your spouse went to bars ? |
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sarahangela 
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Joined: 06 January 2010 Status: Offline Points: 8 |
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 Topic: What would you do if your spouse went to bars ?Posted: 12 July 2010 at 3:42pm |
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Hi,
What would you do if your spouse went to bars every weekend, and drank and came home at 3 in the morning? Would you allow it? What would you do to convince them to stop? Or would you allow them to behave in such a manner. |
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semar
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Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830 |
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Posted: 12 July 2010 at 7:49pm |
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You shouldn't allow him to do that. But with a nice way.
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Salam/Peace,
Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air" |
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fais
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Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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Posted: 12 July 2010 at 10:49pm |
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salam,
If he is muslim then keep your house surrounded by relegious activities,do read quran pray salah in tahajjud to make leave the bars.
read sura baqra always
say salam to your spouse when ever he enters the house
will pray for u
Regards
Faisal
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sarahangela
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Posted: 13 July 2010 at 12:13pm |
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What do you mean a nice way? What do you suggest I do specifically?
I think salah is a good idea. |
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Pati
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Female Joined: 10 April 2009 Location: Spain Status: Offline Points: 304 |
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Posted: 13 July 2010 at 1:01pm |
Well, this situation is common in the current "modern" world, and I feel so sorry for you.
I would suggest you to offer him to come with him, but he will reject it. Sure in "nice" way... if you can.
But, what I would do, I would leave the flat during the weekends, so this way he will understand that you don't agree with him. On Friday, you can ask him about his plans for weekend, and if his plans are to go out with his friends... just tell him that you have another plan for yourself.
The third option, and the best I think, would be to start organising thins to do together on weekend, so make him feel that he doesn't want to go outside. I would suggest you to look for funny things, maybe start going outside for a weekend (even if it's to a beach, to the mountains, or wherever, but at least together). Just try to make him feel happy with you.
Men are getting bored easily, and we have to be smart to avoid it, and to try to surprise them daily. Start every day with a laugh and a kiss for him, try to be mysterious, and don't talk to him about your concerns by the moment. Just play with him (sorry to the men who are reading this, but.... it works!!!).
Good luck dear and please, come back with a positive update
 Regards
Patricia
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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions. |
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fais
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Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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Posted: 13 July 2010 at 11:13pm |
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hello, patty its so easy for women to win over a man,unfortunatly we men find so difficult if the wife is angry. |
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sarahangela
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Posted: 16 July 2010 at 4:36pm |
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I don't know. I kind of feel that my husband is young, wants to have fun and sees other Muslims drinking so feels he should enjoy himself. He doesn't see anything wrong with it.
I just feel that every weekend is quite excessive.
I don't think that suggesting we do things on the weekend will change his behavior. I don't stay out till 3AM. We do things during the day and he just leaves and parties all night.
Honestly, I feel like I have tried everything.
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fais
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Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Status: Offline Points: 344 |
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Posted: 16 July 2010 at 10:14pm |
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may allah help u,
do some zikar and specific dua
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sarahangela wrote: