I think me and my wife had a baby too soon, now I

I had always wanted to get married, get to know my wife, actually fall in love with her. She wanted a kid though, and said that in this culture also it would be better to have a kid, I had talked about this in forums also and everywhere it was said that having a baby would only make us grow close. I was never the sharing type person but I wanted to fall in love with my wife, know how she thinks, and even have a lot of sexual intimacy and closeness. But rather now, I have lost interest. She became pregnant very soon because she wanted a child, and then we weren't able to have sex for some months, never the way I would have wanted right after marriage. After our child, we weren't able to travel someplace, spend that much time and obviously, her first priority became our child. I love my child, but not my wife. I want to, but now I just can't. We never got the sexual intimacy or closeness I wanted. Now it's like living with somebody I don't really know. She said she loves me because of how I take care of her and my family, and she wants me to open up but I can't. I am actually shy of talking to her intimately, just can't. We make love but it's like nothing new is there and I just now get bored. I am able to be intimate with her, and it's just boring, everything. She's a good wife, but I wanted to become friends, grow closer, that never happened. Now I don't know how to become intimate her, now it's like having a responsibility of the baby and that being the priority always, can't travel, can't do whatever we want, can't be the way I wanted to be with my wife. Never understood how arranged marriage works, marry a stranger who becomes your 'life partner', and just let her in and force yourself to love her, even though you don't know her. First everybody said to never grow close to a stranger woman, and I was always away from any sinful activity at all, never even saw a woman with bad intentions, never touched a woman, and now I can't do that with my wife either, because she might be my wife, but I still feel like I don't know her.

Haris, salaams, and welcome! How far do you live from your parents or her family? Perhaps they can take care of the baby once or twice a week so that you and your wife can enjoy some private time together. You may also want to discuss your feelings with your parents. I'm sure they can give you valuable advise. If you have problems communicating, try small steps and keep it simple. For example, give a gift with a note expressing your feelings. The next time give a gift and say something nice. What role does your religion play in the life of your family? Try to focus more on what's good about the relationship. Be thankful for a good wife who takes care of your child. Realize that emotional love and sexual intimacy are only facets of a relationship which has many other dimensions as well. No couple has a perfect relationship and all marriages are works in progress. Be patient and it will get better, Insha'Allah. Allah reward you for staying away from sinful activities and bless your marriage with peace, love and happiness.

I would like to suggest you to be open to you partner she will help you the best way as others wont..All th very best 

Dear Brother,

IT seems you have taken to much physchological burden of that. From your discussion it seems , both of you want it but there is just some mentla block or ego issue.
Having kid is not the end of intimacy. Just consult some council or find time to discuss with each other. Be true to each other and convey each other's feeling on what do you want. These should you should convey to your wife rather than forum.