Non-muslim man interested in marriage -

Asalamulaikum,

I am looking to get some insight, advice, and sound guidance about a personal matter. I am a Muslim girl, 26 years of age. I have never dated nor ever had a relationship with any man till date because I believe in doing things the right way according to Islamic guidelines. I always believed that I would be a one man woman and still do. I have also never thought of marrying outside my religion. However, recently I met someone who is Hindu. He is a wonderful person and that has been assessed and attested many times. I never gave him any signals or signs from my end. We only just talked casually and hung out - sometimes one-on-one and other times in a group setting. Seeing my ideals and values, he has become really interested in me and wants to propose marriage. He has openly claimed that he will convert to Islam and totally respects the fact that I love my religion and my family. Time and again, I have made it clear to him that I will never go against my family- come what may and would not put up a fight for him. He says he completely respects that and will never ask me to do anything as such but he just wants to make it work by trying his best, converting, assimilating into my family and exploring spirituality together. He is totally open minded and thinks of every religion as a pathway to ultimate salvation. He is very well educated and well achieved. He is financially extremely stable even though those were/are not the things, which entice me but I guess it is worthy of mention.
I would like to note that I am not in a relationship with him nor have I even reciprocated saying that I like him back because I am not even sure if I do or what feelings I have for him. I just think realistically and what could be a match of prosperity and a healthy life for me in the future. We have also never indulged in zina or anything of that sort. In fact, when he has come to some physical proximity with me, I have flagged it and have told him that it bothers me so distance must be maintained.

Anyhow, now I don't know why I find myself actually contemplating this option. There's definitely something different about this man. I feel so much comfort with him, which I have never in the past. I have huge physical boundaries and am a guarded person, but with him it all seems so easy and natural. He is a genuine person too. I know I could probably make my life so much easier and go with a Muslim man and keep it to that only. But if the man is willing to convert and embrace Islam..what am I supposed to make out of this? I love Allah. I can never upset Him or go against him. All of this makes me wonder whether He's happy with me or upset because if He is upset, He may have sent this man as a trial for me to pass or fail. If He is happy with me, He may have sent this man in my life to lead an individual to the path of Islam, the path of Allah. It is widely believed that converting someone to Islam is one of the biggest blessings a person can have upon themselves.

Please advise as to how I should think about this... I am just feeling upset..I don't know whether this has come as a blessing from my beloved Allah or a trial that I should blatantly say no to.

Thanks so much for reading.

I have not discussed this with my parents as of yet because I want to see what my stance is first. I am not even sure about this myself and am trying to reason things out right now. Any insight? Perhaps, from women in marriages, etc? I have always feared marriage ..

assalaamu'alaikum

first establish whether is he becoming muslim for the sake of becoming muslim or whether is he truly interested in Islam. If he is truly and sincerely interested, then he should recite the shahaadat and go public with his faith. This is without any agreement with yourself on marriage or anything of the like. If he loves Allah and Allah's Rasool, then only is he worthy of your love.

In my personal experience, it would take him about 2 to 3 years to affirm his Islamic faith by gaining the basic knowledge of Islam (Aqaaid + Fiqh). If after then he has proved committed then he should approach your father as a Muslim man seeking you in marriage.

Alhamdulillah I have helped a couple under similar circumstances and today after 3 years they have married and are happy together (May Allah increase their happiness and love. Aameen)

Insha-Allah I will PM you some useful information to pass along to the man in question.

It is forbidden for a Muslim girl to marry a non Muslim.so no permission to you from Allah. so you need to wait till he converts . Second no marriage of girl without wali's permission so you need to take your family's permission.Already marriage is a sinking ship, if you give dawah through marriage both will end up a shipwreck. Allah doesn't need your help , you need Allah's help. As you are describing maybe he's got a good character but before marriage every guy looks and acts like one plus any marriage you even have to see compatibility in all aspects for it to be smooth . If he's so interested he could have as well gone to the masjid to learn Islam than from you .And if he's so upright he should have first converted convinced his parents then propose to you . If he has so much understanding of deen or humanity. Even regular boys are so deficient in knowledge That anyone who marrys them suffer due to their smartness tricks of controlling females lies their mothers fatwas that after many years of tears and quarrels you feel what they have ever learnt in life about Islam hadith how to treat females. And wonder when they will learn may be never because they are so busy with friends jobs making money showing off their street smartness and of course the weakness of their faith and their own problems exams job which they can't handle for themselves also due to weakness of iman. So this guy is also likely to have all of these .whether his faith will ever become so strong that his character flaws go away or hell just remain a Muslim for name like most of us remains to be seen . ultimately wife suffers the most from character flaws or laziness of husband.or if you want a smoother life marry someone whose faith is already up and character is already up to at least your level . but only some elder relatives,may be able to assess that for you . the guy supposedly interested in you also has to be assessed in all these aspects or no marriage is guaranteed for happiness or success