IslamiCity.org Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Culture & Community > Groups : Women (Sisters)
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - chastity, virginity  What is Islam What is Islam  Donate Donate
  FAQ FAQ  Quran Search Quran Search  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

chastity, virginity
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 7>
Author
Message
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
schwester View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Joined: 07 April 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 170 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote schwester Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: chastity, virginity
    Posted: 31 May 2006 at 4:24pm
maybe this topic was discussed before, but i surfed some and couldn't find any old thread on it.
so what i'm gonna ask is again your opinions and advices. how you think, why most of men prefer a virgin girl for marriage? why is it important for them? maybe a girl did some mistakes before she became muslim. i was little surprised when a reverted man asked me if i'm virgin or not. one of my friends say that it's because girls are more devoted to their first partner.
just.., just i start doubting when a man considered for marriage asks me about my virginity. i start thinking if he is of uglies who just use innocent girls and then leave them.
Back to Top
Abeer23 View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Joined: 28 September 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 493 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Abeer23 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 June 2006 at 2:23am

Salam sister m82.  I'm sure every guy has his own reasons.  

1.) I seem to remember there being a hadith where the prophet s.a.w advised men to marry virgins or something to that effect (if you're interested, you could ask the sheikh at your local mosque for hadith about this, if it exists he'll give it to you).

2.) In most cultures (especially African and Arab) a guy that's never been married will marry a virgin.  It's just a social norm (but of course there are always exceptions).

3.) Like you said, most people say that a woman is "forever attached" to her first.  I'm not sure how true that is though.  I know lots of sisters who have been married several times.  And many of them hate there ex-husbands including the first one.

4.In this day and age many brothers are afraid of contracting STD's. 

I guess the possible answers to your question are endless.  It really depends on the brother you're dealing with/

Salaam
Back to Top
schwester View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Joined: 07 April 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 170 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote schwester Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 June 2006 at 3:31am
i never thought that.. dunno, never thought that virginity is so important. say sisters, did husbands of you all ask you if you were a virgin before you married? especially converted, reverted sisters., and how did you react to such a question??
about first man attachments, :), it is not me saying this, other sisters put such opinion. means, they neither dunno why men prefer virgins.
Back to Top
schwester View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Joined: 07 April 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 170 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote schwester Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 June 2006 at 3:39am
oh ya, and friends i know have built their love and family without this virginity. even if the girl was a virgin he never asked her about it. he just said that he was glad to be the only and the first beloved of the girl

Edited by sister_m82
Back to Top
Suleyman View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member

Joined: 10 March 2003
Location: Turkey
Status: Offline
Points: 3324 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Suleyman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 June 2006 at 4:09am

If the rules had been applied onto men,so many men could had been rejected for marriage...sisters are the victims of subcultures....



Edited by Suleyman
Back to Top
ak_m_f View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 15 October 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 3272 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ak_m_f Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 June 2006 at 5:25am
Originally posted by Suleyman Suleyman wrote:

If the rules�had been applied onto men,so many men could had been rejected�for marriage...sister are the victims of subcultures....



it is also applied on men tooo
Back to Top
herjihad View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Joined: 26 January 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 2473 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote herjihad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 June 2006 at 8:12am
Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:

Originally posted by Suleyman Suleyman wrote:

If the rules had been applied onto men,so many men could had been rejected for marriage...sister are the victims of subcultures....



it is also applied on men tooo

Bismillah,

JAK Brother Suleyman!!!  Three Cheers for you!!!

Brother Ak -- I'm sorry to inform you that the double standard is still alive and well.  Many Muslim men endanger their virgin bride by not mentioning the liasons he has had or getting checked for STDs. 

Often, and this is scientific and researchable, guys do not show symptoms for many of the bad diseases, or only show smaller, less dangerous symptoms.  Whereas the disease he is carrying will decimate his trusting bride leaving her ill the rest of her life, possibly unable to bear children or even dead.  Then he can go marry another virgin because who investigates these things?

Reality is reality.   But the fact that you think that it is incumbent upon men and women is sweet and May Allah keep you strong and patient.

Peace

 
Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
Back to Top
Suleyman View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member

Joined: 10 March 2003
Location: Turkey
Status: Offline
Points: 3324 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Suleyman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 June 2006 at 8:17am
Double standards on this matter always works for sisters...on their clothes,walking styles,where they go,when they go and when will turn?...should they pay the bill of dirty underminds of men?...
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 7>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.03
Copyright ©2001-2019 Web Wiz Ltd.