Post Partum Depression

As salaam o alaikum Ladies

As you can all tell, I have " some issues on mind."

In my local mothers group, we have been discussing depression during child bearing years.We've ready many books on the subjects and have talked until " were blue in the face" {lol ) about it. I notice a break down in our discussions comes when the issue of religion and spirituality come into play.

I am aware that there are Muslims who believe that mental illness temporary or long term is a direct cause of the ego, the naffs, sin, God's punishment, and Jin or shayteen.  While I respect their beliefs, I don't agree, becuase research indicates that it literal defects of chemicals and functions in the brain, enviournment, life experiences, and physical health illnesses such as thyroid, diabetes, etc.

Sisters, as I reflect on our discussions about this I've come to these conclusions:

It is clear that many mothers are suffering from depression as a result of hormonal imbalances, diabetes, thyroid problems, poor nutrition, sleep deprivation, trauma, and chemical imbalances.

However I'm beginning to notice that our life styles excerbate or maybe even cause the decline in mental health. For example, many women complain about the lack of support from their husband regarding shared parenting, house work, and discpline. I'm aware that the Prophet pbh assisted in these areas, and I'm aware that scholars such as Imam Malik and Shafi'i were of the opinion that for Muslim women these were not fard or obligatory.

Many women complain about the isolation, and lack of emotional support. For those who have elected to stay home it is even worse.

It is mainly these issues that are causing so many women to fall into severe depression.

My husband is from West Africa, and alhamidlal, when women become mothers they have intact extended family systems that step in and assist. In other words these people practice the belief that it takes a village to raise a child. Dr. Christanne Northrup is of the opinion that the worst arrangement for mother and children is for her to always be the primary care taker as it leads to illness in the mother, child, and society.

I'm wondering if this stay at home mom do it all and be a superwoman is a Western phenomnan? In so called third world countries working, education, and emotional support aren't competing interest's.

Many women work with their children, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, and family friends assist one another from birth til death.

Of course that type of arrangement has it draw back as well.  I do know that in the U.S. extended family systems to used to be strong, but I believe the feminist looked at the extended family system as supporting male supremacy and keeping women trapped in family oriented positions for ever.

What I find so interesting about this is perception from feminists is that this doesn't seem to be the belief shared by other men and women overseas.

Of course you have your napolean complexes and freaks in every society but for the most part the women are versatile even if it's being a mother, farmer, religious activist and all.

Salaam ladies

A very good  topic.

I think you did a good job on summarizing the various aspects of the whole issue.  As you said there are chemical / hormonal changes that happen to women. And when you combine this with the cultural values in our society which no doubt exacerbates the situation.

Women in the west are more isolated as you mentioned.  It must be very stressful to be alone with a colic baby for example that will not stop crying and there is no relief in sight. Never mind not resting yourself, but feeling powerless to help one�s child. In a more extended family you would get help in this regard.

Plus in other cultures you are not as much an �individual� as part of a collective group. The needs of all are taken into account. Then you have here, where before having a child, you are independent, do whatever you want, when you want. And once you have a child comes into the picture, that changes abruptly.

I don�t think we can really understand why some people are afflicted with mental illness or depression. We truly will never know Allah�s will.  It is another whole ballgame for people to be a bit sad now and then, manic depression, schizophrenia, etc are another level.  It is also what is exposed or talk about. These things happen in more traditional societies, I have a dear friend who has an aunt who is mentally ill in India. Just often many of these people are hidden away.

I highly recommend reading a book called Crazy by Pete Earley. It is about his son who was diagnosed with a mental illness around 20 years of age and the father�s delving into the whole issue.

UmmAminata wrote: I'm wondering if this stay at home mom do it all and be a superwoman is a Western phenomnan?

I believe it is not the stay at home mum issue but thinking that you need to do all, be a superwoman is more like it.

I like the rest of your writing.

Many of I guess what we may call "working class" women are farming, mothering, cleaning, cooking, sewing all of the families clothes, and some are going to school on top of all this. But becuase there is a national consensus for that, women take care of other women, and the village system is effective.

Yes, alot of women do it "all" in certain areas.. they farm, herd, run small businesses etc. I think why they do not have the smame issues is that it is overall, a less "fast-paced" lifestyle.  It would be interesting to do a cross-cultural study so to speak.

Often people in the west look at other cultures as "backwards" and such. But there is nothing about the positive aspects.

I saw a piece going to be on PBS called My Country My Country, an independent film by a woman who went to Iraq to see behind the scenes in Iraq. She said, the producer to show that women are not "push-overs." and argue etc with their husbands, families etc. There is a lot of steroetypes about people, especially about women in Moslem societies. It is expected to air tonight on PBS at 9pm. To see local listings: http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2006/mycountry/