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marriage in Islam without love
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C6H12O6 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 17 June 2007 at 5:40am

Marriages in Islam without love.

 

This is an awkward situation. My best friend is married to a German lady. Before they got married she said she would conform to Islamic rules and do this and that. Now that

They have been married for 5 years and have 2 kids, she does not conform as she initially

Had said she would. From my conversation to my friend, I think if the kids were not involved then he would walk away from this relationship. So I was discussing this with my fianc� and my fianc� tells me that they should not be in a marriage if there is no love

To begin with. I think she is wrong. One just should not get a divorce just because they

Are no longer in love. Marriage is more than just love. To me it�s a commitment, an unity

To respect and be with each other no matter what. It is just more much more than physical. Please advise me what should my friend do?
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Points: 2368 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 June 2007 at 8:52am

What a tough siutation.

questions come to mind:

1. What is "love"

2. Responsibilties in marriage in marriage

3. What is the woman's religion?

I am sure if she is nor Moslem and such there is probably a way to divorce Islamically. More scholarly people would know. He has a resonsibility to the kids for sure.

I agree with you marriage is not about "love." It is sonmething greater, something that is part of life. But love as we know it, really is an extra bonus. Ultimately, love for Allah is what should guide us, not for a person. Lack of love I  do not know is true grounds for divorce. Lack of religion may be.

 
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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C6H12O6 View Drop Down
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thank you Hafya for your response.

i am old fashioned. I would battle til the end where as the western thoughts is if we are not in love {which is always attributed to physical attraction} move on and divorce.

to me as you have stated love is more than what the bonus that western world thinks it is. It's compassion and respect and understanding etc.

 

 

 
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aka2x2 View Drop Down
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The need and desire for a mate is a very powerful one. God created us as pairs and being single is against our nature. The problem is with our expectations. We think we all have to have a fairy tale relationship. There are only so many prince charmings and only so many Cinderella. The rest of us, imperfect men and women, are stuck with each other. When we understand and accept this fact we can finally be happy with the person we have. Sure it would be nice if he were rich, handsome, generous, selfless, romantic� Sure it would be nice if she were gorgeous, smart, athletic and loved to do housework� But the fact of the matter is none of us have �all� those qualities. So, instead of thinking we are losing out, we should accept this world is not perfect. No person in it is perfect. No relationship is perfect. But, at the end of the day, an imperfect mate and a shared life beats the alternative.
Respectfully
aka2x2
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crasss View Drop Down
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Originally posted by C6H12O6 C6H12O6 wrote:

Now that They have been married for 5 years and have 2 kids, she does not conform as she initially Had said she would.

Marrying German women is haram. There are many fatwas that forbid it. They don't fall under the Quranic exception that permits marrying christian women because these women are not pious nor chaste.
Originally posted by C6H12O6 C6H12O6 wrote:

From my conversation to my friend, I think if the kids were not involved then he would walk away from this relationship.

That is indeed the problem: what with the children?

They will suffer from any divorce, and sooner or later be diagnosed with issues at school, put on dangerous medication to keep them manageable, drop out anyway, end up homeless in the streets, and die before the age of 40, like most Ritalin children.

Watch out for government-initiated divorce. If the arguments persist, the police might kick him out of the house, and put his kids on medication right away, or in foster care and him in jail.

Your friend and his children are in deep trouble. Never marry a western woman. It is haram for a Muslim to do that. This is the punishment of the One God for failing to obey His rules. Repent, my friend, repent, and plead for His Forgiveness.
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Whisper View Drop Down
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Marrying German women is haram. There are many fatwas that forbid it. They don't fall under the Quranic exception that permits marrying christian women because these women are not pious nor chaste.
Come on now, we have had enough of your distorion of Islam. You are an outright liar, a MUNAFIQ and a hate filled bag of filth. You are the single most distorted thing I have ever seen in our midst.

Islam allows marriages with ahle-kitaab. Our Prophet married Hazraat Maria without ever desiring, leave aside requiring her to convert.

We respect and love all Christian men, women and children and all the other who share this planet with us and are granted their books by our CREATOR.

Get out of our faces and take your filthy sexual obsession with - BEFORE we start to treat you for your worth.

We have had enough of your filth.
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Whisper View Drop Down
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If you utter one more word distorting Islam I will arrange to throw you where you belong - on some rubbish heap.

When I say you are a bag of flith I am being exceptionally kind to you in full view of your didorder.

You are just ill. Get some professional help before you harm someone in the street or at some parking lot - of your imagination.
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crasss View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Whisper Whisper wrote:

Marrying German women is haram. There are many fatwas that forbid it. They don't fall under the Quranic exception that permits marrying christian women because these women are not pious nor chaste.
Come on now, we have had enough of your distorion of Islam.

Surah 5:5 Likewise you are permitted to marry chaste believing women or chaste women among the people who were given the Scripture.

What distortion? Read the Quran. I didn't write it, did I?

Look, this is simply justice. After telling everybody else that they are inferior, and that the white, european race is better, and colonize everybody else at gunpoint, look where they are now? Now they are objectively worse than everybody else! Who on earth could be inferior to the product of rampant promiscuity?

I am now waiting for the chinese to finally cut the funding, to really laugh my head off. Then they'll be out of money too!

It's simply too good. 

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