My husband has another wife

Alwardah wrote: abuayisha wrote: Alwardah wrote: Don't worrry so much about the co-wife  Wow, how realistic is that? He leaves for extended periods. Very realistic she is entitled to half his time. 3 month here, 3 months there.

My point is not concerning division of time, which is nothing to worry about, but what certainly troubles most women, and that is knowing their husband is with another woman.  How do you ask they not worry about this?  How realistic is that?

As-salaam alaykum warahamatullah wabarakatuh

This is a little "off" the present discussion,but i thought of sharing it with you because I believe it would be useful considering what the main topic generated..

Labelling,tagging,talkingdown,discriminating,relegating,segr egating&any other adjective you can find similar to these words,cut across every Race,Tribe,Ethnic,Culture,just name it.And I want to correct your impression that these things only 'exist' amongst"Born Muslims" & "Reverts".That is not the case my dear brethren.I am a born-Muslim,who's had the privilege of visitng another Continent besides my Home Country.And it isn't because you're not born-Muslims,but because there's a difference between a "Muslim" and a "Muhmin".Anyone could be a Muslim,by name,by birth or by Reverting.This doesn't mean such person has the'knowledge of Islam" or have enough Taqwa to appreciate&respect any other Muslim who's just getting to understand Islam better.A Muhmin would have the fear of Allah to appreciate that we differ in our intellectual capability& piety.Anyone who taggs another fellow Muslim for being a Revert, because he or she's a born-Muslim,obviously has a lot to learn about the meaning of "Islam".Allah is Al-Hakam,--The Judge.That attribute isn't any human's, which is why nobody,irrespective of your level of Religious practices or if you're a Reknowned Scholar has the right to say so and so is 'more Pious' because of the mode of dressing,the type&size of Ijab,the Race, or whatever.We are required as Muslims to guide ourselves &encourage each other in doing good&forbidding evil.But it doesn't give anyone the right to call other Muslims names or rebuke them,just because you feel they are less knowledgeable'.

I equally want you to know that it doesn't matter if you are a born-Muslim because some people just find themselves born as a Muslim,but do not go beyond 'bearing Muslim names'.All other acts of Ibaadat are neglected.Imagine what comments would be passed if such person treats another Muslim unfairly.They would say,afterall...........My point is,we born-Muslims amongst ourselves have been prejudiced by our fellow Muslims & people of other race.I for one have experienced it.I do not mean any offence to Pakistanis,but they are far from friendly&when they come across Muslims from other race.I have heard people call them'Racists'&would not blame anyone for their conclusion because of what I went through as well.

However,one must be fair&not make a blanket judgement.The fact that a person,amongst hundreds of others behaved badly towards you doesn't mean the rest are like that.And it definately doesn't mean,that's what Islam "preaches".Individual characters must be considered before one makes a'general conclusion'.

It might interest you to know that in my Country,some people with the full"Jilbab" consider themselves as better Muslims(mostly more Pious)&refuse to relate with a fellow sister in Scarf or other forms of Ijab besides theirs.I was rejected for this same reason&considered myself as a lesser person in hierarchy of Pious people ,until I learnt & understood Islam better.And my case is just one of many.I personally made it my responsibility to talk to upcoming Muslims to ignore whatever comments anyone passes on them about what they wear or what they think of them.Only Allah knows the hearts of us all.So,please,do not think that a born-Muslim is better than any other Muslim,revert,convert or whatever,just because they act or think so.They're just wallowing in their shallow minds devoid of true faith&understanding of their Deen.

I broke away from being a subject of such mentality & suggest you do the same.

May Allah guide us all to the right path&that which pleases Him most.