Sad and Angry at my Husband!

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic

   Assalamu Alaikum Suzanne:
The children thing used to hurt me SO much! I waited because my ex asked me to., even though I made it very clear before we married that I wanted a family. He wanted to finish his education first, while I worked full-time and was financially responsible. Two weeks before his graduation he just told me one day that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. I thought he was joking he said it so calmly and then went to his part-time job. Within a week he had moved out and in with his cousin.
When he remarried his wife got pregnant right away and then I knew that he too wanted children, just not my children. By this time I was 37 and had developed huge cysts on my ovaries. I still hoped I could have children, but it was too late. I wasted all of my years on him and lost the chance. But, Al HamdilAllah, because if we had had children together we would have ended in divorce because he didn't want to be with me, or we would have stayed together for the children and been miserable. How unfair that would have been for the children. 
However, I have to say that every once in a awhile I still cry when I think about never being a mom. I know we could adopt, but financially we can't consider that right now, perhaps never. 
It used to really hurt when one of my friends would get pregnant, but now, Al HamdilAllah, it's just a small heartache instead of a breathtaking one. At least you still have time, just don't allow yourself too long before seeking an end to the marriage and moving on. 
One day when you are remarried and have a baby, insha'Allah, you will look back and be amazed that you gave that man so much power over you because it will be so unimportant. 
Salaams,
Dwanna

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
Mishmish Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 01 November 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1694	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mishmish Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 April 2006 at 12:57pm
	Assalamu Alaikum Suzanne: The children thing used to hurt me SO much! I waited because my ex asked me to., even though I made it very clear before we married that I wanted a family. He wanted to finish his education first, while I worked full-time and was financially responsible. Two weeks before his graduation he just told me one day that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. I thought he was joking he said it so calmly and then went to his part-time job. Within a week he had moved out and in with his cousin. When he remarried his wife got pregnant right away and then I knew that he too wanted children, just not my children. By this time I was 37 and had developed huge cysts on my ovaries. I still hoped I could have children, but it was too late. I wasted all of my years on him and lost the chance. But, Al HamdilAllah, because if we had had children together we would have ended in divorce because he didn't want to be with me, or we would have stayed together for the children and been miserable. How unfair that would have been for the children. However, I have to say that every once in a awhile I still cry when I think about never being a mom. I know we could adopt, but financially we can't consider that right now, perhaps never. It used to really hurt when one of my friends would get pregnant, but now, Al HamdilAllah, it's just a small heartache instead of a breathtaking one. At least you still have time, just don't allow yourself too long before seeking an end to the marriage and moving on. One day when you are remarried and have a baby, insha'Allah, you will look back and be amazed that you gave that man so much power over you because it will be so unimportant. Salaams, Dwanna
	It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)