marriage in Islam without love

C6H12O6 wrote: They have been married for 5 years and have 2 kids, she does not conform as she initially Had said she would. From my conversation to my friend, I think if the kids were not involved then he would walk away from this relationship.

 

All marriages have a rough spot.  Has your friend thought about couples counseling?  Since she is not muslim and he is, a religious leader might not be the best source but someone who would respect both sides.  Perhaps if he showed her he was committed, but that her actions were hurting him, she would want to make the effort.

 

Its also hard to know what you mean by conform?  Is she drinking?  Or perhaps not wearing Hijab?  Maybe she's having sausage?  There are many things that could fall under this catagory.  If she is Christian she may be praying using Jesus's name.

 

Really its hard to advise when you use such a general term.  Conformity is so broad.  What does he want from her? 

 

This is why interfaith marriages fail and aren't really suggested.  She may very well be a pious woman, but obviously she's doing something he feels is unislamic.  But, since she's not muslim she may not see the issue as he does.  For the children's sake, I think they should seek counseling and at least put it all out on the table.  Divorce might be the best way, but really they should look at trying to work together.  

 

If he wanted a pious islamic wife, there are plenty of wonderful reverts out there that are looking for good islamic husbands who aren't in it for the green card and to be supported financially.  He should have considered that first.  If he wants the woman he's with, then he should evaluate exactly what he wants from the relationship and what she wants and decide if it matches.

 

Even a devout Christian woman would have a hard time with some of the "requirements" put on a Muslim wife or even by cultural wants of men from other countries.  Catholics have wine at communion, to deny her communion is to deny her of the practice of her faith. 

 

You see, its more complicated than just...What should I advise him to do? 

Sign*Reader wrote: The time to think was before not after having them.

I agree with that. He can't just walk out off this situation.

He needs to ensure that the kids get a religious education, including  but not limited to sending them to islam class.

His presence will be needed to regularly check up and if needed, to police friends, habits, prevent them from joining up with gangs, loiter late at night in the streets, dropping out of education, watch out for signs of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, premarital sex, but instead encourage friendships with good friends, positively encourage good habits, et cetera. In absence of a father, all of this tends to go wrong somewhere, and because so many kids have a bad family background, the risk for peer pressure pushing them into trouble has increased drastically.

So, I recommend to avoid divorce and to find an alternative solution instead of divorce, in the interest of the kids, so that he can keep an eye on them and intervene when required.



Edited by crasss

aka2x2
Senior Member

 Brother, let's take this bastard on;

Why hide the truth?

and ask him to show where does the Quran do that?

As Angela said, it depends completely on the specifics of the given situation.

Yes, Angela said so and in all natural wisdom it's the truth. BUT, what some of our friends here say has to be the ultimate for only they say must always be right for they love slandering not just women but also the contents of the Quran!!!