Why Do Muslim Men Always Want Babies Right Away?

Assalam walaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu. I talked to some guys online and it seems that almost all Muslim men want babies right after marriage, no matter what their age. I am the intellectual sort and I have some genetic health issues. I have had and still have a stressful life and an annoying family I am still trying to escape. Because of that and the huge responsibility raising children entails, especially in an unislamic environment, I have no desire to have children. I would like to marry somebody who does want children. We have only been talking online for a little less than two weeks. I don't know what to do. I really want to marry him but I don't want to have babies. He mentioned having babies once and I said that I don't want to have children anytime soon. What should I do? I could change my mind later if we get married but even then, it would have to be some years from now. If I finally escape my wacky family, I want to feel my independence and enjoy life to the extent I can. Another issue is due to my health problems, pregnancy could be potentially deadly for me. Surrogacy is an option but some scholars say that it is haram. I am not so sure anymore. Also, I don't want sickly babies. I have been sick most of my life. Over time, I became sicker through many years. Alhamdulillah I am somewhat better now. I want to be able to live and enjoy life finally like most young people. I am 35. I don't want to lose the rest of my youth.

Jazak Allah khair. I might change my mind later if I get married if it is that important to my husband. I would rather raise my own child than adopt if I were to rase any child. I would like to sponsor orphans and poor children though.