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chastity, virginity
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umsami View Drop Down
Groupie
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Joined: 12 May 2005
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Points: 75 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote umsami Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 June 2006 at 7:33pm

Assalamu Alaikum:

One other one that I'd add (that is important)..

what couple's marriage in our community do you admire? would you be willing to ask them to mentor us during our first few years of marriage?? (Ideally, not somebody you're related because they tend to take sides.)

Also,

Ask about wills... do you agree with the Islamic concept of wills? How would you take care of me should you die and our kids were still young?

ARe you a saver or a spender?

Regarding the IVF/adopting/can't have kids... be sure to ask two ways... one if the medical issue was with me, the other with you... I've found out that guys who may not have been so hot about adoption suddenly think it's a good idea when their equipment has the issues.  If there is a discrepency... ask why the difference?

Also...be sure to ask about family expectations regarding who you marry... both sides.  Can be very difficult to live with if you are not the xyz-speaking girl that they always wanted their son to marry.  Even if he has no issues with it.

If you have interfaith friends, ask if it is OK for you to attend church, synogogue, temple with them if they asked.  What if it's for a wedding or baptism?

Also...look for books that deal with situation questions (there used to be a game called Scruples that did this)...  "What would you do if... "

-you found out that our daughter was no longer a virgin?

-Allah(swt) gave you a choice.  You could either live another one year and know the time of your death or live at least ten years and not know when you would die.  Which would you prefer, why?

-If you don't wear hijab.. .if I decided to wear hijab.  If you do, I decided to take it off.

-You found out that I was no longer praying.  Would it matter why?  How would you help me to get back on track?  How would you deal if you found out your husband was no longer praying?

-you won a million dollars?

-you knew that you could do this xyz and not be caught.  Would you do it?
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Angela View Drop Down
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Joined: 11 July 2005
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Points: 2555 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angela Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 June 2006 at 7:59pm
Originally posted by umsami umsami wrote:

Angela:

I'm sorry.  You made assumptions about me, I've made assumptions about you.  Both were wrong.  You seem to assume that I'm not American, well I am.  I too have studied many faiths and cultures... and lived around the world.  I reverted... not from knowing any Muslims, but from simply reading the Qur'an back when I was 12.  Meeting actual Muslims has been the worst and best thing for my faith.  LOL 

I actually did assume you were American.  Most foreigners don't know enough about LDS to pick up on Joseph or missionaries.  BTW, If you are ever bugged by LDS Missionaries, just to let all you ladies know.  They are not supposed to teach Muslims.  Not all the young men know this because it doesn't come up to often.  If you kindly let them know you are Muslim and they cannot teach you, 99% of them will leave you in peace.  (There's always that 1% that are idiots. LOL)

But, I'm here to build bridges.  Thank you for giving me a chance. 

Thanks for the information too.
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ak_m_f View Drop Down
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Joined: 15 October 2005
Location: Canada
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Points: 3272 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ak_m_f Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 June 2006 at 9:12pm
Originally posted by salman_s salman_s wrote:


it does not really matter....because all the deeds of non muslims are going in vain....as they are not muslims.....and the greatest sin that they are committing is denying this: There is no deity worthy of worship except Allah, and Prophet Muhammad is the believing slave and final messenger of Allah



To all the Non muslims, stop funding Salman's India right now. see it choke before your eyes today.


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Angela View Drop Down
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Joined: 11 July 2005
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Points: 2555 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angela Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 June 2006 at 7:45am

Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:



To all the Non muslims, stop funding Salman's India right now. see it choke before your eyes today.


Nah Ak,

I have to many HINDU friends in India, not to love that country.  But, then again, Lakshmi ran away with an American boy and got married to avoid an arranged marriage and Purvi is here...as are the Patels.  Hey, I guess I don't need to help....I mean, they are getting all our jobs anyway right???
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